Going straight back into my story today.
For some time after Fritz was killed, I became withdrawn and bitter. I was not allowed out of the padded room, and I ate very little. Most of my time was spent curled up in the corner or pounding on the door. After I calmed down, I was put in another room- unpadded, but still a blistering white. They made several attempts to drug me and to erase my memories, but Lorraine counteracted all of these and brought me my savior.
They always say good things come in small packages, and never has this been more true for me than with Jack. He is significantly shorter and thinner than me, and yet he could bring me to my knees easily. He saved me from myself and made me whole again, healing my heart after what happened with Fritz. It was because of him that I was eventually released from my prison, and because of him that I'm still alive today.
He's a Light Omega, and so all of his powers are light-based. While he can perform some offensive maneuvers, he's mostly based in healing and defense. That's fine by me. I've got enough attack for three people. Where Lorraine and I are opposites, Jack and I are moderately similar. We have differences, of course, but it isn't quite the extreme it is with Lorraine. I appreciate this, and I feel like it makes us more compatible.
He's a brilliant artist and a very warm, caring person. He was one of my very first followers, and the only one I really liked in particular. He has always been generous while I was selfish and humble while I was arrogant, and is always ready to console or help me if something happens. I don't think I'll ever understand why he likes me so much, but I'm not complaining.
I realize this entry is short, but so much of our relationship is based on emotion, which I feel I wouldn't be doing justice by breaking it down into words and trying to analyze and explain it.
Until next we meet.
6.18.2011
History, Part 3: What Do We Want? Someone Worth Fighting For
I've decided that today was the day to talk about Fritz. It seems appropriate somehow. So, to continue with my story. My memory of the day we met is nearly perfect.
When I woke, I was not in the hospital wing, but a small room outside of it. This unfamiliarity startled me, as did the sudden touch I felt on my wound. I sat up as quickly as possible and demanded to know what was going on.
Sitting in front of me was someone that in appearance alone surpassed everyone I'd ever been attracted to before in my life. His bright red eyes seemed concerned, boring into me with an unspeakable intensity. His jet-black hair was spiky and haphazard, and while not malnourished or emaciated, he was still rather gaunt. His mere presence both calmed and excited me, and he hadn't even said a word yet. I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly, but I knew that'd be improper and probably entirely weird, especially if he liked girls.
He put up his hands as a gesture that he wasn't going to hurt me. He was my new healer, as he explained. His voice was light, flighty, and gentle, like he didn't want to hurt my ears by speaking too deeply or loudly. I tried to breathe, but found a soft panic growing in my chest. Before I knew it, I was spilling everything to him- that I was an Omega, that I was six feet four inches and slightly underweight because as of late I'd been forgetting to eat sometimes, and even that I thought I felt something for him. He took it all surprisingly well with just a smile. He told me we'd have more time to get to know each other better later, and for that day, he was gone.
For the next few months, I saw him every day and would talk to him about my problems. Day by day, I fell harder and harder for him, and he opened up to me. He started to tell me about some of his philosophies, and they made so much sense to me. I didn't understand why Omegas weren't being treated fairly, nor had I seen it before he brought it up. But everything became so clear. I had been raised to believe they were faultless, and here they were, with faults. It was a bit shocking, but I appreciated that he had showed me the truth.
Eventually, inevitably, one of these thoughts slipped from my tongue as a retort which ended up being a full-blown rant. Though it was my fault, Fritz took all responsibility for it. He was taken out behind the buildings with me, and I had to watch them shoot him in the head. I was offered the chance to do it myself, but I declined. I didn't fully understand what was happening, because up until that point, death had been an extremely vague concept that I hadn't comprehended. I declined more out of my dislike for guns than personal attachment.
In a second everything made sense. His lifeless body fell to the ground right before my feet. I couldn't stop shaking. I managed to get some of the precious red life onto a glass slide, so I could keep him with me, before everything went dark and I woke up in one of the padded rooms where they keep the mentally unstable.
I later discovered that had he been human, he would not have been killed.
This was where I got all my ideas for the rebellion, and really this entire thing has been a vow for revenge. Because Fritz was killed unjustly, and it filled me with such a consuming hatred that I had to do something about it. The rest of this story, however, I suppose is best saved for another time.
Until next we meet.
When I woke, I was not in the hospital wing, but a small room outside of it. This unfamiliarity startled me, as did the sudden touch I felt on my wound. I sat up as quickly as possible and demanded to know what was going on.
Sitting in front of me was someone that in appearance alone surpassed everyone I'd ever been attracted to before in my life. His bright red eyes seemed concerned, boring into me with an unspeakable intensity. His jet-black hair was spiky and haphazard, and while not malnourished or emaciated, he was still rather gaunt. His mere presence both calmed and excited me, and he hadn't even said a word yet. I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly, but I knew that'd be improper and probably entirely weird, especially if he liked girls.
He put up his hands as a gesture that he wasn't going to hurt me. He was my new healer, as he explained. His voice was light, flighty, and gentle, like he didn't want to hurt my ears by speaking too deeply or loudly. I tried to breathe, but found a soft panic growing in my chest. Before I knew it, I was spilling everything to him- that I was an Omega, that I was six feet four inches and slightly underweight because as of late I'd been forgetting to eat sometimes, and even that I thought I felt something for him. He took it all surprisingly well with just a smile. He told me we'd have more time to get to know each other better later, and for that day, he was gone.
For the next few months, I saw him every day and would talk to him about my problems. Day by day, I fell harder and harder for him, and he opened up to me. He started to tell me about some of his philosophies, and they made so much sense to me. I didn't understand why Omegas weren't being treated fairly, nor had I seen it before he brought it up. But everything became so clear. I had been raised to believe they were faultless, and here they were, with faults. It was a bit shocking, but I appreciated that he had showed me the truth.
Eventually, inevitably, one of these thoughts slipped from my tongue as a retort which ended up being a full-blown rant. Though it was my fault, Fritz took all responsibility for it. He was taken out behind the buildings with me, and I had to watch them shoot him in the head. I was offered the chance to do it myself, but I declined. I didn't fully understand what was happening, because up until that point, death had been an extremely vague concept that I hadn't comprehended. I declined more out of my dislike for guns than personal attachment.
In a second everything made sense. His lifeless body fell to the ground right before my feet. I couldn't stop shaking. I managed to get some of the precious red life onto a glass slide, so I could keep him with me, before everything went dark and I woke up in one of the padded rooms where they keep the mentally unstable.
I later discovered that had he been human, he would not have been killed.
This was where I got all my ideas for the rebellion, and really this entire thing has been a vow for revenge. Because Fritz was killed unjustly, and it filled me with such a consuming hatred that I had to do something about it. The rest of this story, however, I suppose is best saved for another time.
Until next we meet.
6.16.2011
History, Part 2: BFF Doesn't Begin To Cover It
I was never a popular child in my youngest days. My powers developed early, early enough for me to have a good handle on my exceptionally versatile powers while some were only surfacing. This made me sort of an outcast. While others had no powers to speak of yet, I was changing in new and unexpected ways straight off the bat. Then later when everyone was talking about the latest development in what they could do, I was already done with that portion of my growing and was instead struggling with my several growth spurts.
The one person who stuck with me through everything, even before I had powers, was Lorraine. We didn't have any particularly inspiring tales of how we became friends, like she was being picked on and I stood up for her or vice versa. We just gravitated toward each other. I went up to her one day as a child, introduced myself, and we never really separated after that. Well, save for the part where we were separated by gender for a few years, but even that didn't keep us apart a whole lot. We still talked constantly.
We get along splendidly, and even though we're polar opposites in nearly every way, we can somehow still stand each other. I've always found it to be a strange phenomenon, but I'm thankful for it nonetheless. I need her stability a lot to keep myself from going overboard, and I feel like she needs someone a bit more... "overdone," as she would say, if only to keep her sane and give her a decent sense of humor.
I'd really be nowhere without her, whether she knows it or not. My life can get extremely crazy sometimes, and she's always been there to be a shoulder to lean on for me. If I had to love a girl, there's no doubt it would be her. She has faults, and I acknowledge them, but I don't feel like they're great enough to keep her from being an amazing friend. And I guess she doesn't feel mine are, either.
I suppose this was less history and more emotion and opinion, but that's fine. I don't feel like details are as important when it comes to our friendship as it is to get the idea of the thing.
Until next we meet.
The one person who stuck with me through everything, even before I had powers, was Lorraine. We didn't have any particularly inspiring tales of how we became friends, like she was being picked on and I stood up for her or vice versa. We just gravitated toward each other. I went up to her one day as a child, introduced myself, and we never really separated after that. Well, save for the part where we were separated by gender for a few years, but even that didn't keep us apart a whole lot. We still talked constantly.
We get along splendidly, and even though we're polar opposites in nearly every way, we can somehow still stand each other. I've always found it to be a strange phenomenon, but I'm thankful for it nonetheless. I need her stability a lot to keep myself from going overboard, and I feel like she needs someone a bit more... "overdone," as she would say, if only to keep her sane and give her a decent sense of humor.
I'd really be nowhere without her, whether she knows it or not. My life can get extremely crazy sometimes, and she's always been there to be a shoulder to lean on for me. If I had to love a girl, there's no doubt it would be her. She has faults, and I acknowledge them, but I don't feel like they're great enough to keep her from being an amazing friend. And I guess she doesn't feel mine are, either.
I suppose this was less history and more emotion and opinion, but that's fine. I don't feel like details are as important when it comes to our friendship as it is to get the idea of the thing.
Until next we meet.
6.14.2011
History, Part 1: On Being Different, In Relation To Sexuality
There are some days when I feel like a teenager again, awkward and uncomfortable with my identity. Today was one of those days.
I've struggled with one of my... problems since I was about thirteen. It was around that time that I realized that while other guys felt attraction and even arousal toward girls, I had a perfectly fine best friend of the gender and felt absolutely nothing romantic about her. I figured if I was going to love someone, it would be her, since she knew me best and I enjoyed her company much more than any other female I'd ever met. But there was no spark there. There was nothing to incite the quickened heartbeat others experienced, and while I've never considered Lorraine ugly in any way shape or form, I didn't find her particularly breathtaking in appearance. I didn't find any girl to be that way. I didn't feel as though I loved anyone.
Now, granted, at the time I did find one of the instructors and a few of my colleagues to be quite attractive, but I wasn't informed about sexuality at all. I didn't know I was one of the few that felt this way, I just knew that the other guys thought girls were attractive and I didn't. I didn't know a thing about how they felt about other males. I thought maybe it was just something you didn't talk about in public or something.
When I was fifteen we received education on sexuality. Well, I suppose I should clarify. We were informed of heterosexuality, and why a boy and a girl fall in love, and where their parts go, and to be frank I was a little awkward about the entire ordeal. I was horribly confused about everything, and for a time I considered asking a girl to... "perform" in order to understand what the big deal was. But every time I was going to, the very thought of asking some girl I hardly knew to perform an apparently intimate act, one usually indicative of affection, made me recoil in disgust.
A few months later I was quite shocked to find that the feelings I had previously been talking about were taking up residence in my heart, but not toward girls. I was starting to stutter and my hands would get cold and my heart would race, but only while around certain people of my own gender. This was an extremely confusing time for me as I wondered what the heck was going on and why I wasn't feeling the same way as everyone else. I disclosed these feelings to Lorraine, who merely shrugged and told me I was different, that it wasn't something I should worry about. I took her advice and pushed the anxiety concerning it out of my mind for a while.
Early in my seventeenth year, around November, we were informed of the "other" side. Of the people who didn't love anyone of the opposite gender. Those geared toward their own. They stated it was an "abnormality" and referred to it with a technical coldness I'd never seen while referring to such a warm emotion before. One of the people in my class stood (looking back on it, quite bravely) and admitted that he was, in fact, not heterosexual. For a moment, I felt like I wasn't alone anymore.
Within seconds, the entire class erupted into jeers and name-calling. The boy was put into therapy to "rid" him of the "disease," which I suppose failed as I never saw him again. He may have killed himself, considering their treatment toward us, but I don't really know what happened to him.
During almost my entire time being seventeen I kept my emotions totally under wraps, trying my hardest to appear "asexual," as they had described at one point, without affection or desire for anyone. Even this was more acceptable than loving one of your own, but some still seemed to know. Or maybe they just assumed so because I didn't want to sleep with them, even though they looked atrocious. Like they'd taken their makeup case and just thrown their head into it recklessly, then walked out for all the world to see. Not to mention the complete lack of decency in clothing.
When I was nearly eighteen the emotional and sexual tension that I'd been holding in started to overwhelm me and break me down completely, making me unstable and tense. I was in a sparring match one day, and as I was much better at it than most of the other students (and I was terrible at using weapons), I was being shot at. I hate guns. I've always hated guns. So crude. Pointless. If you have powers, why not use them? Why take something that isn't a part of you, something you likely have never trained with, and attempt to kill someone with it? It's never made sense to me. Anyway, I was off my game that day due to the fact that one of my "attackers" was particularly attractive and I was putting most of my effort into holding in my affections. During my time distracted, I was shot in the leg and fell unconscious.
I was hospitalized for a time, during which Lorraine had apparently disclosed that I needed someone to monitor my mental health as well. As a healer, I was given Fritz.
That was the first time I ever really experienced being in love.
I would continue but I'm quite tired of writing for now. I suppose Fritz is a tale for another time.
Until next we meet.
I've struggled with one of my... problems since I was about thirteen. It was around that time that I realized that while other guys felt attraction and even arousal toward girls, I had a perfectly fine best friend of the gender and felt absolutely nothing romantic about her. I figured if I was going to love someone, it would be her, since she knew me best and I enjoyed her company much more than any other female I'd ever met. But there was no spark there. There was nothing to incite the quickened heartbeat others experienced, and while I've never considered Lorraine ugly in any way shape or form, I didn't find her particularly breathtaking in appearance. I didn't find any girl to be that way. I didn't feel as though I loved anyone.
Now, granted, at the time I did find one of the instructors and a few of my colleagues to be quite attractive, but I wasn't informed about sexuality at all. I didn't know I was one of the few that felt this way, I just knew that the other guys thought girls were attractive and I didn't. I didn't know a thing about how they felt about other males. I thought maybe it was just something you didn't talk about in public or something.
When I was fifteen we received education on sexuality. Well, I suppose I should clarify. We were informed of heterosexuality, and why a boy and a girl fall in love, and where their parts go, and to be frank I was a little awkward about the entire ordeal. I was horribly confused about everything, and for a time I considered asking a girl to... "perform" in order to understand what the big deal was. But every time I was going to, the very thought of asking some girl I hardly knew to perform an apparently intimate act, one usually indicative of affection, made me recoil in disgust.
A few months later I was quite shocked to find that the feelings I had previously been talking about were taking up residence in my heart, but not toward girls. I was starting to stutter and my hands would get cold and my heart would race, but only while around certain people of my own gender. This was an extremely confusing time for me as I wondered what the heck was going on and why I wasn't feeling the same way as everyone else. I disclosed these feelings to Lorraine, who merely shrugged and told me I was different, that it wasn't something I should worry about. I took her advice and pushed the anxiety concerning it out of my mind for a while.
Early in my seventeenth year, around November, we were informed of the "other" side. Of the people who didn't love anyone of the opposite gender. Those geared toward their own. They stated it was an "abnormality" and referred to it with a technical coldness I'd never seen while referring to such a warm emotion before. One of the people in my class stood (looking back on it, quite bravely) and admitted that he was, in fact, not heterosexual. For a moment, I felt like I wasn't alone anymore.
Within seconds, the entire class erupted into jeers and name-calling. The boy was put into therapy to "rid" him of the "disease," which I suppose failed as I never saw him again. He may have killed himself, considering their treatment toward us, but I don't really know what happened to him.
During almost my entire time being seventeen I kept my emotions totally under wraps, trying my hardest to appear "asexual," as they had described at one point, without affection or desire for anyone. Even this was more acceptable than loving one of your own, but some still seemed to know. Or maybe they just assumed so because I didn't want to sleep with them, even though they looked atrocious. Like they'd taken their makeup case and just thrown their head into it recklessly, then walked out for all the world to see. Not to mention the complete lack of decency in clothing.
When I was nearly eighteen the emotional and sexual tension that I'd been holding in started to overwhelm me and break me down completely, making me unstable and tense. I was in a sparring match one day, and as I was much better at it than most of the other students (and I was terrible at using weapons), I was being shot at. I hate guns. I've always hated guns. So crude. Pointless. If you have powers, why not use them? Why take something that isn't a part of you, something you likely have never trained with, and attempt to kill someone with it? It's never made sense to me. Anyway, I was off my game that day due to the fact that one of my "attackers" was particularly attractive and I was putting most of my effort into holding in my affections. During my time distracted, I was shot in the leg and fell unconscious.
I was hospitalized for a time, during which Lorraine had apparently disclosed that I needed someone to monitor my mental health as well. As a healer, I was given Fritz.
That was the first time I ever really experienced being in love.
I would continue but I'm quite tired of writing for now. I suppose Fritz is a tale for another time.
Until next we meet.
6.12.2011
D:
I'm finally starting to get better, but I still have a giant headache. I'm not sure how I feel about all this.
Lorraine told me I had to keep you updated so here I am, keeping you updated. Maybe you'll get a useful update soon, I don't know. I'm going back to sleep.
Lorraine told me I had to keep you updated so here I am, keeping you updated. Maybe you'll get a useful update soon, I don't know. I'm going back to sleep.
6.10.2011
If One Is To Expect The Unexpected, The Unexpected Becomes Expected... Wait, What?
The unexpected has happened. Considering that it makes complete sense, I'm not sure why we didn't think it would happen. That is to say, my weakness has become more than a one-day problem, and I feel I may be seriously ill. Either that, or I haven't been eating enough, one of the two. I know for a fact that the first day it had nothing to do with my dietary habits, but these later ones may have some basis in some sort of malnourishment.
At any rate, I've been sitting around much more than I'd like and have actually started sending requests through the speaker system asking people to talk to me. So far I've only had a few people venture in... which should probably tell you a bit about my crew. Luckily they're going to be replaced fairly soon with some familiar faces. At the moment I believe we're going to do a few rallies, then we're going to attempt to locate Ren and her allies. Apollo and the residents of his home are next on the list, followed by the rest of the family. It's all quite complex, but to my knowledge, this is how it goes.
We are going to pick up Apollo and his girlfriend, Aphrodite. Along with them, we will be picking up Aphrodite's half-sisters, whom are twins. I am not aware of their names. Following this we will locate Aphrodite's stepsister-conveniently, Athena. Rorschach and Hephaestus will be included in this to my knowledge. Directly after those three we will be completing the set with Athena's... uncle? I'm not entirely sure what relation he is, though I have been informed that we will need to keep him... restrained, and that he is likely only to be used as a method of torture, or if we need blunt force on a battlefield other than myself. His codename is Deimos.
Hopefully this weakness passes quickly enough for me to be able to do the rallies on time! I'd hate to miss one. I've been aching to do one ever since I was resurrected.
While in bed I've also started narrating a story in my mind about what I think my life would've been like had I been a dragon. It still includes the vast majority of the people close to me now. At the current moment the draconic version of me has kidnapped this medieval-Jack from a small village. It's quite entertaining, actually. The story, I mean. Not kidnapping Jack...
Until next we meet.
At any rate, I've been sitting around much more than I'd like and have actually started sending requests through the speaker system asking people to talk to me. So far I've only had a few people venture in... which should probably tell you a bit about my crew. Luckily they're going to be replaced fairly soon with some familiar faces. At the moment I believe we're going to do a few rallies, then we're going to attempt to locate Ren and her allies. Apollo and the residents of his home are next on the list, followed by the rest of the family. It's all quite complex, but to my knowledge, this is how it goes.
We are going to pick up Apollo and his girlfriend, Aphrodite. Along with them, we will be picking up Aphrodite's half-sisters, whom are twins. I am not aware of their names. Following this we will locate Aphrodite's stepsister-conveniently, Athena. Rorschach and Hephaestus will be included in this to my knowledge. Directly after those three we will be completing the set with Athena's... uncle? I'm not entirely sure what relation he is, though I have been informed that we will need to keep him... restrained, and that he is likely only to be used as a method of torture, or if we need blunt force on a battlefield other than myself. His codename is Deimos.
Hopefully this weakness passes quickly enough for me to be able to do the rallies on time! I'd hate to miss one. I've been aching to do one ever since I was resurrected.
While in bed I've also started narrating a story in my mind about what I think my life would've been like had I been a dragon. It still includes the vast majority of the people close to me now. At the current moment the draconic version of me has kidnapped this medieval-Jack from a small village. It's quite entertaining, actually. The story, I mean. Not kidnapping Jack...
Until next we meet.
6.08.2011
The Pros and Cons of Being Ill (Mostly Pros)
Praise be to whatever deities may exist! I've somehow managed to land myself an illness. It isn't particularly bad, and there's no vomiting or anything, but it has induced serious enough weakness that I am unable to get up and aid anyone.
Normally I would not be celebrating this but I refuse to let myself lie around and not help people unless I have some sort of legitimate excuse such as this. I've also desperately needed a break and since stress tends to make it very easy for me to become sick (which doesn't usually happen to me) maybe this will be a warning flag to the rest of the crew that maybe we need to slow it down a little. Or at least with me. I'm still having the occasional malfunction with my body mechanics and I daresay I'm not quite at full mental capacity either. However, given this chance to rest I think I should be alright from here on out.
They've even gone out of their way to fix my cooling system. That was nice.
I do feel a bit guilty about lying in bed all day, but I haven't been taking unnecessary luxuries. I've mostly just been sleeping a lot. I'd probably feel more guilty if it were something I had control over or had done intentionally.
I presume tomorrow I'l be fully ready to face the immense workload that I'm sure is waiting for me. I feel much better already, and I still have another solid six to eight hours of sleep ahead of me. It depends on when Lorraine decides to wake me up.
On a side note, while I'm enjoying the overall result of the sickness as I'll be able to more readily face the tasks ahead of me later on, this weakness is quite the bother. I can't move a whole lot without it hurting immensely, and I've barely been able to do anything all day. Though I suppose being sick does mean negative things in general with one's body, doesn't it? It's a bit odd and absurd to expect it to all be good. Well, it should be gone by tomorrow. I hope. Two days of being sick is a bit much for me.
Until next we meet.
Normally I would not be celebrating this but I refuse to let myself lie around and not help people unless I have some sort of legitimate excuse such as this. I've also desperately needed a break and since stress tends to make it very easy for me to become sick (which doesn't usually happen to me) maybe this will be a warning flag to the rest of the crew that maybe we need to slow it down a little. Or at least with me. I'm still having the occasional malfunction with my body mechanics and I daresay I'm not quite at full mental capacity either. However, given this chance to rest I think I should be alright from here on out.
They've even gone out of their way to fix my cooling system. That was nice.
I do feel a bit guilty about lying in bed all day, but I haven't been taking unnecessary luxuries. I've mostly just been sleeping a lot. I'd probably feel more guilty if it were something I had control over or had done intentionally.
I presume tomorrow I'l be fully ready to face the immense workload that I'm sure is waiting for me. I feel much better already, and I still have another solid six to eight hours of sleep ahead of me. It depends on when Lorraine decides to wake me up.
On a side note, while I'm enjoying the overall result of the sickness as I'll be able to more readily face the tasks ahead of me later on, this weakness is quite the bother. I can't move a whole lot without it hurting immensely, and I've barely been able to do anything all day. Though I suppose being sick does mean negative things in general with one's body, doesn't it? It's a bit odd and absurd to expect it to all be good. Well, it should be gone by tomorrow. I hope. Two days of being sick is a bit much for me.
Until next we meet.
6.06.2011
Opinions, And The People Who Can Shove Theirs Up Into A Cold Dark Place Found On The Rear Side Of Their Bodies
When you're dead, everyone wants your opinion, but no one asks for it. In life, or at least mine, it's the exact reverse: everyone asks for my opinion, but the second I disagree with them they act as though I hadn't said anything.
Multiple times this has happened now: Someone asks me what I think about their plan of action. I tell them that there are obvious, glaring flaws. They give me a dirty look and walk away. When they enact the plan and the exact thing happens that I said would, they ask me why I didn't tell them it would fail. Then when I tell them that I did and they didn't take me seriously, they argue with me and tell me that they would never blow off the opinion of the Catalyst.
Is this an understandable reason to be irritated? No one else seems to think so and everyone is getting angry at me when I make snide remarks to them. Maybe they'd be uncalled for if you weren't such idiotic hypocrites.
And, of course, it doesn't help that we're stuck in blistering heat and the humidity has broken my air cooling system. Not anyone else's. Just MINE. This is just my luck. I'm very close to throwing each and every person who has given me this headache off the side of the ship, because they were the same people asking me two days ago about equations and scientific theories that I know absolutely nothing about.
I think I'm going to go lie down for a while and punch anyone who disturbs me to ask me for my opinion and then disregard it anyway. I may also punch Lorraine if she tries to get me up fifteen seconds after I lie down like she has been lately. I think that would tell her right off the bat that I'm not having a good day.
I apologize for my recent irritated posts, but since I've been resurrected everything has been a rush and it doesn't seem like anyone did any planning while I was gone except maybe Lorraine. So now I'm expected to do much more than I'm capable of all at the same time and I'm not in a very good mood because of it. Hopefully this will all die down soon.
Until next we meet.
Multiple times this has happened now: Someone asks me what I think about their plan of action. I tell them that there are obvious, glaring flaws. They give me a dirty look and walk away. When they enact the plan and the exact thing happens that I said would, they ask me why I didn't tell them it would fail. Then when I tell them that I did and they didn't take me seriously, they argue with me and tell me that they would never blow off the opinion of the Catalyst.
Is this an understandable reason to be irritated? No one else seems to think so and everyone is getting angry at me when I make snide remarks to them. Maybe they'd be uncalled for if you weren't such idiotic hypocrites.
And, of course, it doesn't help that we're stuck in blistering heat and the humidity has broken my air cooling system. Not anyone else's. Just MINE. This is just my luck. I'm very close to throwing each and every person who has given me this headache off the side of the ship, because they were the same people asking me two days ago about equations and scientific theories that I know absolutely nothing about.
I think I'm going to go lie down for a while and punch anyone who disturbs me to ask me for my opinion and then disregard it anyway. I may also punch Lorraine if she tries to get me up fifteen seconds after I lie down like she has been lately. I think that would tell her right off the bat that I'm not having a good day.
I apologize for my recent irritated posts, but since I've been resurrected everything has been a rush and it doesn't seem like anyone did any planning while I was gone except maybe Lorraine. So now I'm expected to do much more than I'm capable of all at the same time and I'm not in a very good mood because of it. Hopefully this will all die down soon.
Until next we meet.
6.04.2011
Too Much To Do, Not Enough People
I'm exhausted.
I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night because I had this... really weird dream. At least, I hope it was a dream. If it wasn't, I'll be even more confused. There was this... guy... with wings... and he told me something about "keep up the good work." I don't remember any of the rest of it, and my head hurt when I woke up. At four a.m.
So I've been busy the entire day running around talking to people about what we're going to do next and where we plan to go and what I want for lunch and aughhhhh. And just when I have a little free time and I go to lie down because I have a pounding headache from all the talking? Lorraine pops in and tells me that I need to update this thing so that you all know what I'm up to. Well, this is it. I'm insanely busy, tired, grumpy, achy, and my eyes hurt like none other. This is one of the first times in my life where I've actually wanted to go to bed, but then again it's also been one of my most... shall we say, mentally active days ever. I do think, and quite often. Just not this hard about this much when I in particular do not have to be the one to answer questions. Some questions, such as those pertaining to mathematics or science, are not my forte. One would be better off asking Lorraine. But apparently since I'm rushing about so much I must not be busy and I can spare a few hours to try and figure out an equation when I have little to no prior knowledge of the subject!
The people here frustrate me today. I'm not usually so irritated, but they know they go to Lorraine for math and science. They just chose to ignore it on the day I was more busy than any others.
I hope for everyone's sake tomorrow is better, lest I go berserk.
Until next we meet.
I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night because I had this... really weird dream. At least, I hope it was a dream. If it wasn't, I'll be even more confused. There was this... guy... with wings... and he told me something about "keep up the good work." I don't remember any of the rest of it, and my head hurt when I woke up. At four a.m.
So I've been busy the entire day running around talking to people about what we're going to do next and where we plan to go and what I want for lunch and aughhhhh. And just when I have a little free time and I go to lie down because I have a pounding headache from all the talking? Lorraine pops in and tells me that I need to update this thing so that you all know what I'm up to. Well, this is it. I'm insanely busy, tired, grumpy, achy, and my eyes hurt like none other. This is one of the first times in my life where I've actually wanted to go to bed, but then again it's also been one of my most... shall we say, mentally active days ever. I do think, and quite often. Just not this hard about this much when I in particular do not have to be the one to answer questions. Some questions, such as those pertaining to mathematics or science, are not my forte. One would be better off asking Lorraine. But apparently since I'm rushing about so much I must not be busy and I can spare a few hours to try and figure out an equation when I have little to no prior knowledge of the subject!
The people here frustrate me today. I'm not usually so irritated, but they know they go to Lorraine for math and science. They just chose to ignore it on the day I was more busy than any others.
I hope for everyone's sake tomorrow is better, lest I go berserk.
Until next we meet.
6.02.2011
On Death, Amongst Other Things
Oh, it's a wonderful day to be alive. When one has been dead for five and a half months, you get a real appreciation for everything around you, and just being amongst the living in general.
Pardon my rudeness. I haven't even formally introduced myself. My name is Godrick Versailles. I was born on the ninth of October, my best friend is Lorraine Gray, I am an extrovert, and I am in the process of leading a rebellion.
Well, at the moment I'm not leading anybody. I only just regained the actual ability to think clearly yesterday. Death is hard on people, you know. It's not just a, "snap, you're alive again, go do whatever you want" type thing. It's a complex science, and when it's over a long period of time, things decay. Granted, Lorraine and Jack were very intelligent about the entire situation and put my body into stasis so such things wouldn't happen, but not everything can be done inside a small glass chamber. Luckily we have people for that.
Speaking of Jack, we've been considering going to Eire on vacation at some point after the revolution is over. It sounds very nice over there, at least climate-wise. Though we're planning on waiting until this whole "Ravensburg Basilisk" deal blows over...
Yesterday was actually quite enjoyable for me, considering I actually had the ability to form coherent thought. I was happy to be reunited with Jack and Lorraine, though disappointed to realize that while I was aware of the existence of some sort of afterlife, I had no idea what went on there. Had I found my lost love, Fritz? Or had I gone the entire time looking and never found anyone I wished to find? Well, at least I remembered something.
Jack and I spent nearly the entire day together, doing... stuff. I'd actually prefer not to disclose that, but let the record show that we were doing "stuff." After a while Jack was tired of doing this "stuff" and went to go draw for a while since Lorraine had been quite vocal about also wanting to spend some time with me. She ended up waiting until nightfall, but she said it was okay. And she didn't say it was okay in that typical Lorraine voice that means something isn't actually okay even though she's saying it is. It sounded sincere, at least. And Lorraine is not usually one to fake sincerity. When she is angry she lets EVERYONE know.
Anyway, regardless of her anger she IS still my best friend, isn't she? (The answer is yes, if you didn't catch that.) So we went out and decided to go lie in the grass for a while and look at the stars and contemplate life. Well, okay, there was a lot more life contemplating going on than there was looking at stars or anything, but that's beside the point.
One of the things pontificated (that's a fun word) was the fact that Lorraine, unlike most girls I know, has never tried to, in her own words, "put the moves on" me. I didn't quite understand that. There have been many cases of a best friend falling for the other one, and we've known each other longer than I've known I didn't like girls that way, so it confused me a little.
She explained that while we were perfectly good best friends, a relationship with us together would be like a dead battery. There was no spark, no power at all. Which I suppose made sense. I had never felt any particularly strong feelings toward her except those of friendship, so.
She also noted that we wouldn't have made a good couple anyway, because couples should at least have a few traits in common, and all ours seem to be opposite of one another. She's short, I'm tall. She's "wimpy" (she said it herself), I'm strong. She's intelligent, me... not so much. She's a straight female, I am... neither. She's an introvert, I'm an extrovert. She's logical, I'm passionate. There were many more of these that were said, but I can't recall any of them at the moment. We make a great team, but as far as loving one another... it wouldn't have worked.
So, I suppose that's my post for the day. We're planning on firing up the Audra and making our way out of here fairly soon. Which means more rallies! I'm excited. I've always loved speaking in front of all those people... but only about the Rebellion. Put me up there to talk about something else, and I'd be like a deer in the headlights...
And imagining them all in their underwear would just make me feel awkward. I don't know why anyone ever suggested that to anyone for public speaking.
Ah, well. I'm off to go eat and talk about plans. Until next we meet.
Pardon my rudeness. I haven't even formally introduced myself. My name is Godrick Versailles. I was born on the ninth of October, my best friend is Lorraine Gray, I am an extrovert, and I am in the process of leading a rebellion.
Well, at the moment I'm not leading anybody. I only just regained the actual ability to think clearly yesterday. Death is hard on people, you know. It's not just a, "snap, you're alive again, go do whatever you want" type thing. It's a complex science, and when it's over a long period of time, things decay. Granted, Lorraine and Jack were very intelligent about the entire situation and put my body into stasis so such things wouldn't happen, but not everything can be done inside a small glass chamber. Luckily we have people for that.
Speaking of Jack, we've been considering going to Eire on vacation at some point after the revolution is over. It sounds very nice over there, at least climate-wise. Though we're planning on waiting until this whole "Ravensburg Basilisk" deal blows over...
Yesterday was actually quite enjoyable for me, considering I actually had the ability to form coherent thought. I was happy to be reunited with Jack and Lorraine, though disappointed to realize that while I was aware of the existence of some sort of afterlife, I had no idea what went on there. Had I found my lost love, Fritz? Or had I gone the entire time looking and never found anyone I wished to find? Well, at least I remembered something.
Jack and I spent nearly the entire day together, doing... stuff. I'd actually prefer not to disclose that, but let the record show that we were doing "stuff." After a while Jack was tired of doing this "stuff" and went to go draw for a while since Lorraine had been quite vocal about also wanting to spend some time with me. She ended up waiting until nightfall, but she said it was okay. And she didn't say it was okay in that typical Lorraine voice that means something isn't actually okay even though she's saying it is. It sounded sincere, at least. And Lorraine is not usually one to fake sincerity. When she is angry she lets EVERYONE know.
Anyway, regardless of her anger she IS still my best friend, isn't she? (The answer is yes, if you didn't catch that.) So we went out and decided to go lie in the grass for a while and look at the stars and contemplate life. Well, okay, there was a lot more life contemplating going on than there was looking at stars or anything, but that's beside the point.
One of the things pontificated (that's a fun word) was the fact that Lorraine, unlike most girls I know, has never tried to, in her own words, "put the moves on" me. I didn't quite understand that. There have been many cases of a best friend falling for the other one, and we've known each other longer than I've known I didn't like girls that way, so it confused me a little.
She explained that while we were perfectly good best friends, a relationship with us together would be like a dead battery. There was no spark, no power at all. Which I suppose made sense. I had never felt any particularly strong feelings toward her except those of friendship, so.
She also noted that we wouldn't have made a good couple anyway, because couples should at least have a few traits in common, and all ours seem to be opposite of one another. She's short, I'm tall. She's "wimpy" (she said it herself), I'm strong. She's intelligent, me... not so much. She's a straight female, I am... neither. She's an introvert, I'm an extrovert. She's logical, I'm passionate. There were many more of these that were said, but I can't recall any of them at the moment. We make a great team, but as far as loving one another... it wouldn't have worked.
So, I suppose that's my post for the day. We're planning on firing up the Audra and making our way out of here fairly soon. Which means more rallies! I'm excited. I've always loved speaking in front of all those people... but only about the Rebellion. Put me up there to talk about something else, and I'd be like a deer in the headlights...
And imagining them all in their underwear would just make me feel awkward. I don't know why anyone ever suggested that to anyone for public speaking.
Ah, well. I'm off to go eat and talk about plans. Until next we meet.
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